Archive for September, 2009
When Sony released the PSP, they had to create a medium in which to sell/run content on this infernal machine. That dark creation was the UMD or Universal Media Disc.
When I first saw a UMD, I was reminded of the movie Cool World, and thought this must have been like the cartoon condom Gabriel Byrne used to fuck cartoon Kim Bassinger, and some weird (probably homeless) guy put a mini disc in it. Better yet there was a hole in it, so out there, somewhere between reality and fantasy, there are a litter of very serious, grim looking dark haired Irish children that can’t amount to anything but the most gutteral of noises as speech, and high pitched giggles. Nice fucking work, Mr Byrne.
Like, if I bought it or something. Or found it in my garage.
10. Swing to work: No more long walks for me. As long as I live in the shadow of condominiums, I could use my grapple beam like Spider-Man uses webslingers – that is, to hurtle through the city 50 feet up like a really heavy bird. Since every time Samus needs to grapple anywhere in-game a grapple station is present, I would assume the same would apply to my carousing.
9. Disguise myself as a basketball: Professional basketball players are pretty strong folk, but how hilarious would it be to watch one drop a super-dense Samus ball on his foot during practice? They would be confused, and then after seeing my powerful energy glow would likely think they had found a magic basketball. Then the kid from Rookie of the Year would show up and we’d all star in a movie.
Note from TheGamerAccess: “I must admit that it is a good review, but I just feel there is too much cursing to where it makes it hard to concentrate on the review…[t]he quality is great, but I do not feel our fanbase nor the gaming industry leaders that read our site would appreciate the excessive cursing.”
CORPORATE GAME WHORES.