Controller Punch!

This guy is fucked in about 2 seconds.

In N.America, football is a game of endurance and implied homosexual tendencies. Standing behind a dude with your arms between his legs like you are about to receive his child has got to be one of those very awkward things to even look at, let alone participate in.

What I’m saying folks, is that all of us assholes in N. America got it wrong. Football isn’t football. Football is Soccer!

Next week FIFA 10 launches in North America, no doubt to a subdued and uninterested audience brought up on dreams of their own big Superbowl win, or carrying the Stanley Cup. But that’s beside the point. I have had the opportunity to interview a real european who scooped this game up on his special european release day, and has yet to put it down, because loving soccer is a requisite to being european.

Temper: Hey, thanks for taking the time away from FIFA 10 to do this, Herr Krokodil

Herr Krokodil: Tackar, tackar

Temper: When did FIFA 10 launch over there exactly?

HK: Den 10:e har jag för mig att det var

Temper: EA has pretty much owned at making sports games. Does FIFA 10 fit well with the previous games under the same title? What is it doing this time around that makes it a worthy installment?

HK: Jag spelar bara ett annat sportspel i EAs sportserie och det är NHL, och det känns som att båda spelen har fokuserat mer på att få till det flyt som finns i riktiga matcher i sina respektive sporter och det har de lyckats väldigt bra med.

Temper: Have you tried to score on your own net yet, just to see if soccer hooligans attack your player?

HK: Jo, men spelarna envisades med att sparka iväg bollen åt andra hållet. Däremot kan man passa in bollen i eget mål. Huliganerna tog det nog bort i den första patchen.

Temper: Can you foresee a good this game getting a good reception in N. America?

HK: Självklart! Även om inte sporten är så stor i nordamerika som i resten av världen så är spelet tillräckligt kul att spela även för de som inte är inbitna fotbollsfans.

Temper: Herr Krokodil, thanks so much for your time. GAME ON!

Herr Krokodil: Dra helvete. Tack. Hej!

FIFA 10 will be launch in N. America on October 20, 2009.

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