Controller Punch!

Archive for January, 2010

Alrighty, so by this point Mario’s prestige and legacy are set in stone. He’s got fame, popularity, multiple spin-off products, and even a show with Lou Albano! (R.I.P; Cap!) So, how do you follow up on debatably the greatest video game to date? Pink, transexual, aborted egg-shooting lizards wearing Ms. Pac-Man’s bow. Yeah.

Now, I wasn’t alive during the release of this game. Therefore I can only imagine the sheer horror on the faces of all the Mario fans when they saw this box art. It’s nowhere near Mega Man box art bad, but why the hell is Mario carrying what appears to be a raddish? What is this, Cooking Mama? Is Mario a closet gardener?

One of the first things that you’ll notice upon starting up this turd is that it has next to nothing to do with it’s predecessor. Why is that, you may ask? Well, here’s the story: Read the rest of this entry »

I know it’s fucky, but it’s just a little mix I made after a long hiatus. Keep an eye on the channel!

This is the start of a series of reviews looking back on the Mario series. (The main series platforming centered games, at least.) And what other way to start than with…

Again, we should probably start off with a little history first:

You remember the NES, don’t you? Ah yes, the embodiment of nostalgia, that rectangular brick of pwnage aiding you in your quest to save the princess, kill Dracula, what have you. Of course, if it weren’t for this little Italian plumber, Nintendo probably wouldn’t be what it is today. In fact, had it not been for Mario, the NES would’ve been tossed aside by retail markets for…*shudders* Teddy Ruxpin. (violin screeches) Read the rest of this entry »

This review came after over an hour of discussion on the success of the satire in Natural Born Killers.

Why are we telling you this? ‘Cause it seemed important at the time. Andy recorded eight minutes of it: Read the rest of this entry »

Ok, we have to give Destructoid credit on this one. They have a bigger community than us, what the fuck do you want? I’m still here reporting it to you. Stop complaining and just start drooling over the beautiful images that were leaked by allgamesbeta.info, and the Beta Video that some hapless fanboy posted.

I get excited for all kinds of reasons. Recently my girlfriend telling me that she didn’t give no fuck about backne was at the top of that list. And recently-er, Ska Studios announced the release of another game on the Xbox Live Indie Marketplace. This makes me sweat nervously like the first time I touched a woman.

Reportedly, it’ll be a 4 player arcade beat’em up kinda like Castle Crashers TMNT. Maybe.

Charlie Murder will be hitting the virtual shelves in March. Probably.

[Source: Not Destructoid this time.]

Welcome to Japan weirdness month…between Muscle March hitting on Monday, No More Heroes 2 coming later in the month and Tatsunoko vs. Capcom arriving very soon…I plan to have a multitude of multicolor seizures as I blast through this stack of Japanese goodness.

Please bring No More Heroes HD to North America!

That’s right, motha! I got myself a Wii!!!

Now, this review is going to be a lead-in to a mini-series of reviews. What franchise will I be toppling? We’ll wait and see…

Before I review this system, let’s take a look at it’s history:

Read the rest of this entry »