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March 3rd, 2010 | 
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Travis Touchdown and the Rose Nasties. Sounds like a band.
Looking for a game where bloody assassin massacres and cutesy kitten playtime are equal priorities?
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle is one of the biggest, and strangest, releases for the Nintendo Wii in the first quarter of 2010. Its predecessor No More Heroes won critical acclaim back in 2008 for its adult themes and stylish visuals, but the sequel hopes to match and exceed the former in both overall design and unit sales.
Let’s get one thing straight: Desperate Struggle is about as adult a game as you can find on the Wii System – a system generally designed with Family Game Night in mind. Before you can even save for the first time the game features blood fountains, self-mutilation, sexually suggestive weaponry, and about half-a-dozen or so ‘questionable’ pieces of language not fit for print in this website (Okay, that’s a lie, but hey, there are kids around). Not a bad list. Only potty humour could make the opening any more visceral, and for that, well, just wait for the first save point. It won’t disappoint.
Playing as Travis Touchdown, the mission is to climb the ranks of the resident assassin population of Santa Destroy. Travis is basically a Japanese version of Johnny Knoxville, that is, if Knoxville was a remorseless killer in addition to being an infamous jack-ass. As blunt in his demeanour as his beam katana blade is razor-sharp, Travis ends up back on the assassin circuit, seeking vengeance for the murder of his best friend, Bishop. Read the rest of this entry »
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Ten Great Characters From 20 Years of Simpsons: Part One
With The Simpsons’ 20-year anniversary having been on December 18th, you would think that I would make two top 10 lists, but alas my list formats were made to be followed and 10 is still a perfectly cromulent number. After all, being 20 years old isn’t what makes The Simpsons great, its many instances of greatness do. Of those there are surely more than 20. While other soft news locales are writing impacting diatribes about the show’s lasting effects on a generation, I want to take it another direction and celebrate those who have helped our beloved farce of an American family reach this milestone. Part One of my top 10 will consist of characters 10-6, with Part Two concluding later. Read the rest of this entry »
Ok, we have to give Destructoid credit on this one. They have a bigger community than us, what the fuck do you want? I’m still here reporting it to you. Stop complaining and just start drooling over the beautiful images that were leaked by allgamesbeta.info, and the Beta Video that some hapless fanboy posted.
This review is going to be a bit personal, as this is a gem from my childhood. For those of you not familiar with the PlayStation… who the hell are you? Go on eBay, fork over a 30 year old basement-dweller the necessary cash and lose yourself in one of the greatest systems known to man. Read the rest of this entry »
I know I’m a little late to the mark, but I recently stumbled across this gem in the used bin at my local GameStop, and had to pick up the poor thing. For those of you not familiar with this great brawler on the Gamecube (and PS2 later on, but I played on the GCN), it’s definitely something you need to look in to.
This game is full of cel-shaded goodness, which wonderfully compliments the beat-em up gameplay. Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw has dubbed this game a “Spectacle Fighter”, and I have to say, that term perfectly describes this little diamond in the rough. Read the rest of this entry »
I can see you, you know. You’ve read the title of this article and the expression of dumbfounded confusion will soon atrophy. Maybe someone will pat you hard on the back and your face will stay that way. One can only hope.
According to our homies over at NextGenPlayer, Best Buy Canada is having a Call of Duty: Modern Warfare launch party on Monday (why they always choose weekdays is beyond my grasp) November 9th at the Toronto Best Buy, located at Bay and Dundas, and some place in Arsehole, BC.
They’re gonna have lots of goodies over there, including 50 copies of the Prestige Edition of the game, and a costume contest to giveaway a $500 gift card. Don’t see why they’d need a contest. It’s pretty fucking obvious I deserve it more than anyone.
This guy is fucked in about 2 seconds.
In N.America, football is a game of endurance and implied homosexual tendencies. Standing behind a dude with your arms between his legs like you are about to receive his child has got to be one of those very awkward things to even look at, let alone participate in.
What I’m saying folks, is that all of us assholes in N. America got it wrong. Football isn’t football. Football is Soccer!
When Sony released the PSP, they had to create a medium in which to sell/run content on this infernal machine. That dark creation was the UMD or Universal Media Disc.
When I first saw a UMD, I was reminded of the movie Cool World, and thought this must have been like the cartoon condom Gabriel Byrne used to fuck cartoon Kim Bassinger, and some weird (probably homeless) guy put a mini disc in it. Better yet there was a hole in it, so out there, somewhere between reality and fantasy, there are a litter of very serious, grim looking dark haired Irish children that can’t amount to anything but the most gutteral of noises as speech, and high pitched giggles. Nice fucking work, Mr Byrne.