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December 13th, 2009 | 
Author: Ten Infected Valve Should Include in Left 4 Dead
Left 4 Dead 2 is a game which made me a pretty happy man. There were lots of improvements, despite a few steps backwards, and overall it was a welcome addition to the shelf. One particular aspect most people seem to enjoy is the new infected (playable zombie characters), including: the Wandering Witch, the Charger, the Jockey, and the Spitter. But why stop there? I’ve got ideas a-plenty for new infected that will keep the survivors dying all the way to the bank (assuming it’s been converted into a makeshift cemetery). Without further ado, here are the top 10 infected which should/should not be added to the Left 4 Dead franchise:
10. The Child Hurler: It’s just natural progression. The first game had the Boomer, belching goo on top of you. The second had the Spitter, vomiting venom all over the place. It’s just natural that the next in line in zombie evolution is the Child Hurler – a zombie that simply throws child zombies at you like rocks from a satchel. If you shoot its arm off it can no longer throw, but it is even better is to counter-hurl with a gas tank. Or your own child.
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I’ve been upgrading equipment at the Controllerpunch head office and apparently all the other writers are dead. When I am the only person writing on this site…it apparently turns into a No More Heroes fansite (I’ll fix that soon enough).
8-bit fan-service depicting Travis’s ditry jobs has me stoked for the sequel.
Why isn’t this DLC for the Xbox 360…? Mechaware did an astounding job fitting the character into the title for PC gamers. It makes me want to give the Valve shooter another look.
Microsoft I want to give you my money for this – best mod/cross-up ever.
The fact that this exists prove that men are sexually stifled all over the world. I don’t know…but I got to wonder if I wasn’t allowed or able to ask my potential significant other for a little boob bounce every once in a while, would I end up doing this?
Nah, I’m more of an ass man.
I give this youtuber credit for knowing what the internet is willing to watch as this single minute of footage has over 50,00 views. It makes me cry.
Andy has been complaining about his play session of 50 Cent (for review) and this is my response to him:
I think all of the talent in the RAP/hip-hop scene is firmly set in the underground with the Rhyme Sayers Crew (Eyedea & Abilities and MF Doom, yeah!) and I will prove this by letting you watch the video(s) included above.
Essentially, the game developers at Bethesda remixed Mickey Rourke’s soundbytes from the game into a song that is better than nearly all the mainstream rap tunes out there…and while it is insanely cool, it all depicts the sad state of affairs for rap.
Enjoy it and check out the Rhyme Sayers.
This is worth watching despite all of the beeping at the beginning. I was never big fan Mega Man because he could never duck.
Also when viewed from the first person, Mega Man’s gun looks obscenely like a penis. One that shoot yellowish, white pellets…despite that though – the MOD designers deserve a shout-out for this one (Huzzah!).
Our sister site Segashiro is giving away codes for the Xbox 360 Bayonetta Demo for gamers in the US/Canada.
WE HAVE NO CODES LEFT.
Just comment on this article and one will be sent to you ASAP!
To our American friends to the south, Happy Thanksgiving Weekend, and I hope you trampled someone good for Black Friday!
Looks like another developer that took and fell off the EA Rollercoaster…not to say that the company’s internals weren’t mismanaged…but they did make fun games. I think I own a significant number of them.
You will be missed.
[Found by Herr Krokodil]
Until recently, I was always impressed with the diversity and ferocity of movie monsters. Monster movies, action, horror – these genres spawned some pretty out-of-this-world and hungry creatures, including xenomorphs from Aliens, colossal crab-praying mantis’ from Cloverfield, and, of course, the giant St. Bernard from The Sandlot. Go back even further and you’ve got classics like Godzilla, The Thing, The Blob, and Outer Space Death Aardvarks (from Outer Space Death Aardvarks I – IX, the unheralded work of an aging Charlie Chaplin, 1949-53).
Until recently, I didn’t own a copy of Will Wright’s Spore and its expansions. Now, using the power of a mere piece of software, I can safely say, without fear of hyperbole, that I should be hired to create CGI creatures for all movies from now until eternity and that every puppeteer, computer graphics wizard, and really ugly tall guy in Hollywood should be fired. I don’t mean to brag, but all of those people deserve a slap and a pink slip based on the fact that my creations usher in a new millennium of the grotesque, eradicating competition in the categories of: scariness, having lots of teeth, gooiness, ability to rampage, multiple eyeball-ness, and human brutalization.
To prove this fact – and with much humility – I offer you my top 10 Spore creations that would make superior movie monsters:
10. Aborhassb: If gooeyness and blobs of whatever are your bag when it comes to horror, the Aborhassb is your Jackie Chan. Comprised of red flesh-blotches and weird skin, this rolling mess has a creepy sight-less head and spiky innards. Two long graspers would drag unsuspecting citizens of Everytown USA into its churning bowels, merging them to itself like Tetsuo from Akira. Monster it dominates: The Blob.
9. Chiiubiss: Pardon my language, but what the fuck is this thing? It looks like someone’s insides grew fur and was in the bath too long. Its face makes no sense. One of its toes is an eyeball. Gooey stomach crap is at an all-time high. Now, call me bias, but in a blank-face eyeball-hands battle between the Chiiubiss and the Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth, I think the Chiiubiss would murder the Pale Man and his entire pale family. Monster it dominates: Pale Man.