Loading ...Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category
March 20th, 2010 | 
Author: 
Posted in 
So I’ve been toying around with the Sonic & SEGA Allstars Racing Demo…and I found myself enjoying it. A lot.
I was thinking maybe I was crazy because it is essentially a kart racer that doesn’t begin with “Mario” and end with “Kart.”
Better yet, I did not need to waggle anything…except I did (in my pants). Hit the jump for some video on loan from SEGASHIRO.
I never did play the first Mass Effect, but CHRISTING FUCK this looks awesome. Sorry for taking so long to put this up. The only time I get to work on this website is at my day job. Go figure.
Killer 7 was a mindbleed of awesomeness
Controllerpunch staff already knows that I’m the resident punk rocker of the group and I love punk gaming as much as I like the music.
What’s punk gaming? It’s the titles that come out of nowhere shun all mainstream concerns and yet still end up being intriguing at worst and stellar at best.
Destructoid has an article up that references my entire Wii collection and the idea of gaming punkdom on Nintendo’s console.
If titles like Muramasa, No More Heroes, and MadWorld did not exist on the Wii…my Nintendo console would been traded in for a taffy apple and box of condoms (no amount of Mario beats an awesome woman).
Ubi-soft has recently let me down when they decided not to bring the hi-def update to No More Heroes to North America. Hopefully a new publisher (Ignition, perhaps?) will bring the Xbox 360/Ps3 port to gaming fans everywhere.
I can see you, you know. You’ve read the title of this article and the expression of dumbfounded confusion will soon atrophy. Maybe someone will pat you hard on the back and your face will stay that way. One can only hope.
Episode the First: Tiny-Ass Text
Hi, I’m new here. Most of the writers on Controller Punch don’t know I exist. You’ll get over it.
In my vast bravado, I’ve decided I am going to spearhead a new as-often-as-I-care-to-write-it feature called “I Will Fight you if you Disagree”. Come with me, won’t you, as I get upset with a problem that effects very few people, but annoys me like a thorn in my ass.
Read the rest of this entry »
I love Sands of Time, I love the Prince of Persia franchise -- but it is going to take one amazing movie for me to get over the fact that Hollywood/Disney couldn’t hire ethnic actors for ethnic roles.
What a pile of fucking trash. I’m going to play the Ubisoft Montreal (Canada, yay!) masterpiece and pretend one day the world will make sense and be fair.
Seth is a digital wanker. The fumes from my hate towards this character is enough to kill all the kittens in the GTA.
So, when Capcom states that Seth will be even harder in the upcoming Super Street Fighter IV, I got ready to mail Capcom a steaming pile of turds. Let’s hope that by make harder – they mean build an AI that doesn’t cheat.
It’s a good thing that Capcom also let the world know that in the next iteration of Street Fighter we won’t have to unlock any of the characters. Still, I can’t wait to play the pseudo-sequel of Street Fighter IV.
[Source: Kotaku]
When Sony released the PSP, they had to create a medium in which to sell/run content on this infernal machine. That dark creation was the UMD or Universal Media Disc.
When I first saw a UMD, I was reminded of the movie Cool World, and thought this must have been like the cartoon condom Gabriel Byrne used to fuck cartoon Kim Bassinger, and some weird (probably homeless) guy put a mini disc in it. Better yet there was a hole in it, so out there, somewhere between reality and fantasy, there are a litter of very serious, grim looking dark haired Irish children that can’t amount to anything but the most gutteral of noises as speech, and high pitched giggles. Nice fucking work, Mr Byrne.
Women Aren't Dolls!
This is another image of a gamer girl. The internet is full of them. See how she unrealistically wears high heels with her panties while gaming?
Every real girl would be cold and complaining? Or would they? Read the rest of this entry »